When I was about 15 years old I had depression. It was literally the hardest time in my life. I didn’t keep track of how long I had it; it felt like forever, but my estimation is somewhere between one and two years.
So what happened in my life to cause depression? Nothing. I was eating healthy; I had a family that loved me; my life was easy. I may have obtained the disorder because I was homeschooled and got lonely sometimes, but more likely I was just at an age where hormones were messing with my mind and body.
What Does Depression Do To the Mind?
It’s a disorder. It basically messes with a person’s mind so they no longer think or experience things as they should. In my case whenever I tried to think about the future of my life I would just see a brick wall in the distance in my mental view of the future. With all the logic thought I had, it was impossible for my brain to see around the wall.
I love spaghetti! But when I was depressed I would shovel it into my mouth because I knew I needed to eat, not because it was enjoyable at all. I even wondered how I would survive as an adult if I was not able to enjoy any food.
The same lack of enjoyment applies to interests. I didn’t really have a hobby at the time, but there were things I knew I used to enjoy, but no longer did. Video games just got frustrating and boring. Family events were somewhat fun, but afterward I’d just feed as terrible as before.
Maybe If My Family Loved Me More?
That’s not possible, because they loved me as much as possible. They had no idea that I had depression. It’s quite easy to hide from people who are not looking for the signs of it. I very often searched the internet for self-help and information. There was nothing there to fix it. After what I estimate was about a year of suffering, I confessed to my parents. This was their only mistake: they went into denial. They told me I was just sad. (Severely sad for a whole year with nothing to trigger it? I don’t think so.) That was pretty much the first and last time I mentioned it to them. They still loved me, but didn’t want to believe that something was wrong with me.
Isn’t Depression Just a Severe Sadness?
NO! Sadness is triggered by an event, depression isn’t always. Sadness can be considered a symptom of depression, but depression itself is the mind not thinking how it should.
Is There Any Hope?
Yes! If you are a teenager then it’s possibly just a phase, a very long one. But don’t give up hope. I know from personal experience that it feels like you are going to depressed forever, but I am living proof that’s not always the case.
If you are an adult, know your depression in permanent, or suicidal then talk to a councilor. That is one step that I personally did not take. If your parents refuse to pay to get help for you then find help elsewhere. Call the suicide hotline if you need to (1-800-273-8255).
If you have any questions about depression then please ask in the comments. I will do my best to answer questions from my experience.
